Work Sucks
[d1noli @ Thursday, July 22, 2004] Okay. Might as well get the ball rolling here with my random thought for the day...I was driving with Mark to work and during the whole time I was deep in thought. That's a bad thing for me since 1) I don't like to think and 2) I don't usually have anything to think about that early in the morning (other than porn of course).
Today, my thoughts centered around work and how badly I was wanting to quit. I know. I know. You hear me complain about work about every other second you spare me, but recently my feelings about the job have been so bad that I am seriously considering quitting no matter what the consequences are.
For a guy who demands structure in his life, wanting to quit with no plan at all is tantamount to heresy. It's that bad. I sound like a whiner but it REALLY is that bad.
We just got through another round of layoffs so morale is at an all time low everywhere. And that's not the end of it either. Here recently, we have been forced to attend weekly meetings that focuses on our structure and how we can better streamline processes (translation: we're determining how we can get rid of our organization). I feel like a pig planning out his slaughter with the butcher.
I AM SO SICK OF ALL THIS!
I'm beginning to think that I'm not meant for corporate America. The problem is, what am I meant for then? If I can't be happy in the field I thought I would be happy at then what's the point of wanting to go to another field? Wouldn't I just be making another mistake? Dancing the dance as someone once quoted to me.
So here I am back to thinking about all this. And frankly, I have a splitting headache.
8 Comments:
Yes I can definitely understand what you're feeling. Work is really hard here too, although I won't dare rant about the details here.
Despite all the great predictions about the HK economy, finding a job is still hard for most people. I'm damn lucky to have one right now. And quite frankly, there are a few local people I've met who think that I'm stealing their opportunities. TO HELL WITH THAT. I'm not holding a gun to anyone's head, and I sure didn't sleep with anyone to get hired (well maybe for fun, but not for a job...). It's definitely not because I'm cheaper to hire because I cost a damn lot more.
So we're left with one reason-- and sorry to those few local losers who do nothing but whine:
I'M JUST WAY MORE QUALIFIED THAN YOU LOSERS. DEAL WITH IT.
I guess my rant for the day belongs to this topic: Work Sucks!
Anyway, this Friday, I will be receiving a plaque of appreciation for my five years of service to the company. Unfortunately (or fortunately for me), I will be in Bicol doing work next week so I will not be able to attend the ceremony which I heard was "formal." This means that I will have to wear barong if I attend the event.
It also means that I will not be able to join the choir for the special event. Oh, they have been incessantly asking me to join the choir for the special number but I simply do not have time because of the preparation for the field next week. (I was pretty active in the choir some years back). Last night, as I was leaving for home, i can still hear them practicing! Talagang ki-nareer nila! Hehe!
Anyway, this just got me to thinking that I have been in this job for what...about eight years already. I really feel burnt out at times, but the inertia just keeps me going...and going...ang going...
I am not yet sure if this is good or bad, but for now, I'm just acknowledging it.
Good thing my studies keeps me focused on some other thing aside from work. I think this contributes to the retention of my sanity.
I still try to write during my leisure time, but more often than not, I'd rather read. When I don't feel like reading, I'd rather just watch DVD's (the last bunch of which was Secretray, The House of Sand and Fog, Swimming Pool and 21 Grams--I recommend them all!). If I don't feel like watching dvds I'd rather watch TV (there's always queer eye, TAR5, csi, etc., etc.). Otherwise, I just surf and sleep. Lately, badminton has been a sport of choice (although two na ako hindi nakakalaro).
I think I still like the field I am in (Psych and Research). But creative writing has always been with me like for the longest time. Hopefully, I get to allot more time to developing it.
And then there's always a career for me as a wedding singer. Hehe.
Russ, there are some dances that one is not meant to dance. After all, why would one want to dance a dance that makes one look like a fool?
Chris, congrats on your five/eight years. I've been with this company for 7 years now and I know I'm very burnt out about corporate america. It's not inertia that keeps me going but rather the need to stay out of debt. That is the one thing I refuse to be conquered by. I will not be part of the american majority who live life in constant debt.
While studies serve as your grounding, for me it is obviously Mark. Were he not part of my life, I would be an empty husk of a man. I feel totally complete because of his presence.
I've seen Secretary (weird but good) and Swimming Pool (weird and good). Haven't seen the House of Sand and Fog nor 21 Grams. Just recently saw this campy movie called Die Mommie Die. Absolutely recommend this. I think we are going to see either The Bourne Supremacy or Catwoman tonight. Actually, there's also some indie flick called Napoleon Dynamite that we're interested in.
I don't watch too much TV except to watch the high defenition channels that we pay an arm and a leg for. Even charmed has lost it's appeal. Still have years of videogames I've got to finish in place of being a TV potato though.
Oh, speaking of sports, we bought a basketball last weekend and shot some hoops. We must have been a sight. Imagine two elephants playing a game of around the world.
Finally as far as being a wedding singer. Lot's of potential in that business. Specially if you stick to 80's covers. =)
Nice to know you guys found what grounds each of you [grammtically awkward?].
As for me, I've yet to find my center, I've yet to find my bliss.
Work sucks, kaya babalik na lang ako sa iskol! (Tinagalog for encryption, hehe). Sa January, maglilimang taon na ako sa kumpanya. May pension plan ekek pa naman kami na magiging eligible ako after my fifth year anniversary. Incentive kuno to stay, pero hindi ako masisilaw niyan. Some employees endure the drudgery of going to the same job day in and day out for DECADES, thinking they're gonna have a big retirement package waiting for them, only to see it wiped out by corporate scandals, hostile takeovers, or simply, changes to the pension plan. Besides, makakakuha lang ako ng pera from the pension plan at age 55 yata. Di bale na lang. Every minute of my youth counts. Actually, every minute of my life counts, period. Pero kung ilipat ako ng kumpanya ko sa Germany, I'll forget school for now! (oo, magpapasilaw ako in this case!). University education is not my primary motivation to move. It's the life education I'll get living my life immersed in another culture.
russ i think you're taking active means in finding your center right now. my own personal opinion, however, is that for you, the process of searching is your ground.
maybe i'm just over analyzing this whole thing.
folks whatever happened to the concept of work being a means to dignify one's self? i sooo believed that concept when it was taught to us in college. now all we hear from each other is how work is actually doing quite the opposite.
bad bad bad cycle we live in. how to transcend. how to seek balance in all aspects. questions. questions.
After being in the workforce for some time now, I have come to the conclusion that Filipinos (mainly) are working as a means to an end, and not treating work as an end to itself. That is why we see lots of Filipinos going abroad (hint*hint) to earn mucho dinero and go back to their homeland after years of much toil...burnt out but richer. =P
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