Cutting Corners

Boston Here We Come

[d1noli @ Saturday, April 23, 2005]

So another work week has passed! Finally.

Words cannot express my elation over not having to be at the office tomorrow through Monday. The stress of the merger is reaching a fever pitch with it beginning to hit closer and closer to home. This week many good people I knew were sent packing. It was so unnerving to see all these folks walking out, carrying boxes filled with stuff from their emptied desks. It won't be long before the decision about me will be made as well.

The morale where I am is downright tragic. People don't want to work. They sit in their little cubicles just waiting to hear what awaits them. Can they really be blamed? I would be doing the same thing if I didn't have so much else to worry about. As much as I want to do the same, I continue to help others that need me. Pathetic really. But then, that's just my nature and what really keeps me going on.

But it is becoming really difficult. Last Wednesday I found out that my Director is no longer above me. Fortunately for her, she is moving on to a different position. Three of her other counterparts weren't as lucky. And I found out about this coming into an unannounced meeting of all things! Just imagine me coming in late for a meeting and being greeted to this room filled with everyone in training. My heart about stopped! But what really got to me was the news. Since my director was leaving, my chances for job security have become less sure.

What ever happened to one gaining dignity from work? Back in college, I actually spent a whole hour learning this concept in Theology class. I was taught to view work as a means for one to achieve true humanization. It was through this act of labor that one found the self becuase, in working, one could strive to become better. This was, therefore, supposed to be a gift from God because the drive for excellence is exactly what makes us human. Now, as I watch all these people being sent home, distraught and defeated, these lessons of past make me feel like a fool. The reality before me does not show work as an act of humanization. Rather, work demeans one's dignity. All these people who have given their loyalty and time to this company have been fired. They are unfairly sent home with nothing more than shame, definitely less than what they used to be before.

Boston will be welcome break. I do not know if it will be pleasant given the circumstances (which will be hovering over my head like a dark cloud) but it is most definitely needed. As someone told me, I need to live life. Whilst I can't control all the things in it, I surely can take hold of the aspects that I can. In the end, the only thing that determines my unhappiness is myself.

Hopefully, Boston will help regain some of my lost dignity and confidence. Being among friends who actually care about me will help. Maybe I can seek temporary refuge within their caring hearts, be energized by the sincerity found there. It surely will be a million times better than the cold, empty halls filling up my workplace. Ironic isn't it? Here I am about to go to a place so well known for it's frigid weather and stoic architecture, and it will hold much more welcoming warmth than where I working am now. What a sad truth.

All I can say is: Boston, here we come...