Macau Tower Skywalk
[rgucci @ Sunday, September 12, 2004] After 2 years in Hong Kong, I finally went to Macau. Did the skywalk around the Macau Tower. You never really realize you're scared of heights until you're, well....scared of heights.
A bit of vertigo at first, but got used to it, specially with the harness. I dunno why, but wearing it was sexually stimulating ;) Maybe I've spent one time too many in those S&M places hehehe. That's Sungeons and Magons to all you Oli-like pervs.
8 Comments:
I am not going to make any rude comments today becuase I am trying not to jinx myself. (More about what I mean later.)
To be honest, I was shit-scared up there. My legs were wobbly and things did spin a little bit. There is a really overwhelming fear of falling, and I'm not talking about "I don't want to fall!" fear. It's more like "I don't want to die!".
And I think that's what makes it so fun. Screaming "I don't want to die!" over and over again in my head says a lot, particularly, that life is good enough that I wanna stick around for a little bit more.
Having gone through my first real heartbreak, that's a real comforting thought. Don't get me wrong. I still think life just gave me a real lousy hand and most times I feel like hitting something. And maybe I will never make myself so vulnerable again. But I'm gonna deal. Alone if I have to.
Whoa. Hold up. Did I hear someone had his first real heartbreak? OMG. My little baby is growing up. *Sniff*
Being vunerable is part of living life. You cannot build up walls all the time. And yes, with that comes the inevitable fact that you will be stomped upon.
We all think we've been dealt a crappy hand. But to quote a friend of mine who lives in HK --- "DEAL WITH IT". It's always worse than what you think. But in the end, it's not as bad as it actually seemed.
Make yourself vunerable again and prepare for the hurt of your life. Just remember that there are people out there who will ease your pain. Moreover, there is one person out there who will take that vunerability, love it for what it is and, in the end, protect you from ever being hurt again. If it happened to me, a nobody in this world, then it can defenitely happen to someone like you who is 10x better.
It would be nice to believe that. What if it happens one after another?
It's happened to me too buddy. Don't worry about it too much. That path to love is never an easy one. It's almost like trial and error.
Ah, so this is the "distracting" event... Not having any personal experience in the matter of heartbreaks, I feel I am not qualified to give any advice or opinion. So I won't. Just hang in there! If you need people to lash out on, there's always Oli. That might be stretching the definition of "people" a bit. He's more like a herd.
Just kidding! We're always here for you - that's what friends are for! =)
I am going on a trip to China. With someone else-- and absolutely no pressure, just enjoying each other's company and belittling other tourists and making fun of their strangeness. At the very least, it will be a welcome distraction from all the craziness these past few months. Ayah! Yes, that's a chinese expresson.
So, I guess I've missed a lot, huh? Russ, take it easy! Love is just a four letter word. Just one of those numerous four letter words that exist in our vocabulary! Take it easy! Just make sure that when you feel like jumping off a high place, you are securely attached to a harness!
But seriously, you'll be ok. Remember, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. =)
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